Good Comic Book Movies: Few and Far Between

Comic books were once my favorite pastime as a kid and, even though I have significantly less time to devote to them in my adulthood, they still are. Recently, there have been a slew of comic book movies that have been made that are more or less faithful to the original source material and proven to be box office giants and there have been some really horrible movies that have either butchered the original intent of the comics or were otherwise so bad that they didn't make much at all (too many to list.) Comic book movies don't seem to be waning in popularity any time soon and with a few big adaptations in the works (Captain America, The Avengers, The Green Lantern and more) I thought I'd point out a few mistakes and corrections that can be made for future adaptations of my beloved childhood heroes.

If there has been another movie made in the last 30 years, featuring the same superhero we don't need another Goddam origin story. 2008's Incredible Hulk was far superior to 2003's Hulk in almost every way possible. There was more action, more emotion, a real villain from the comics, and (best of all) we didn't have to hear how the Hulk got his powers again. All was handled in a couple of scenes during the opening credits of the movie and by the time the movie started, we were ready for action. Since the abysmal performance of Spider-Man 3 (critically, not financially) Sony has decided to go the reboot route and completely restart the franchise. Don't get me wrong, Spider-Man is one of my favorite superheroes, but the first Spider-Man movie nailed his origin perfectly. We don't need another movie where the first half is comprised of an awkward teen getting bullied until his fateful bite by a radioactive spider or the inevitable gun-shot that murders Uncle Ben. When and if the Spidey reboot ever makes it to the big screen, we need an enthralling story that can make us temporarily forget how they completely butchered the character of Venom which brings us to our next point.

Don't add more villains if you can't get the first one right. Spider-Man 3 had a lot of things wrong with it, but one of the main problems was that it tried to tie in too many villains along with their respective origins. Harry Osborn had already been set up in the first two movies to become the second Green Goblin (or New Goblin as it were) and I can understand the inclusion of The Sandman as an additional threat, but the whole concept of the black suit and Venom seemed rushed. Venom is my favorite villain/hero and it definitely rubbed me the wrong way to see him (them?) treated with such disrespect. Almost all of the Spider-Man franchise's characters were cast well except Sam Raimi, who admittedly didn't like the character, decided to cast Topher Grace as a character that's supposed to be the equivalent of a roided-out body builder. Sad to say this ruined the character and I would have much rather seen a no-name or someone as physically intimidating as UFC champion Brock Lesnar in the role of Venom. Topher Grace was simply not believable (or portrayed as) as a hulking brute and would have been better suited as Venom's rival/offspring Carnage. Word is a Topher-free Venom spin-off is in the works for 2012 and will hopefully offer some redemption for the character.

My final piece of advice to movie-makers is to actually read the comics that they are adapting and to quit making up ridiculous powers. Does anyone remember the cellophane "S" that Superman threw at the three evil Kryptonians near the end of Superman II or the amnesia inducing kiss he gave Lois? How about the telekinesis he used to repair The Great Wall of China and save a couple of falling policemen in Superman IV? I can understand taking certain liberties with superheros' costumes because some just don't translate to real life like when Wolverine joked to Cyclops about their tight leather uniforms in the first X-Men, Cyclops responded "Well, what would you prefer? Yellow spandex?" (This was a nod to the comics as Wolverine's bright yellow and blue spandex costume would have looked positively silly on Hugh Jackman) But I absolutely can't stand when movie-makers give hero's entirely new powers or abilities. Almost every Batman movie (aside for the Tim Burton and Christopher Nolan movies) had the titular hero in a perilous situation only to have him overcome the odds by pulling out a new device from his utility belt or costume or Bat-Copter (Bat Shark Repellent, Ice Skates???.) My point is a hero cannot be a hero if you make him escape extraordinary circumstances by simply giving him a new power or gadget. He must overcome the odds using his intellect or skill, otherwise why couldn't jack-off with a utility belt become Batman?

That said, here are some movies to look forward to in the near future

Kick Ass - April 16, 2010
Iron Man 2 - May 7, 2010
Batman: Under the Red Hood - DVD - July 27, 2010
Captain America: The First Avenger - July 2011
Green Lantern - 2011
Deadpool - 2011
The Flash - 2011
The Avengers - 2012